From Bum-Shaming to Self-Confidence

From Bum-Shaming to Self-Confidence


My younger sister and I share the same room.

She is 16 and I'm 22. We are very much alike but look totally the opposite.

She's blonde and filled out while I'm black and skinny.

We love and live with the same foster parents. They are the most understanding and loving parents in the world.

When we go out together she would usually don on a pair of jeans and I usually wear a skirt or baggy pants - anything really, as long as it conceals my tiny bum.

I would just keep looking at my back in the mirror, from different angles.

She gets tired of me asking her if my butt looks fine! 

She just rolls her eyes and say it's fine, sis!

To me it looks so out of proportion and especially since I'm a coloured girl everybody assumes I should come with a booty to match - bummer! so much for you stereotype butt freaks!!!

Rihanna & Beyonce - the bootylicious girls 

One might think I'm the freak here?!! - mind you it’s not what you think it is - it’s because I'm the girl who got butt-shamed a lot for my flat butt.

My non-existent butt had also been the butt of many a jokes at high school. A girl in my class did a project on "Racial Variation in Anatomy" and she kept on referring to me during her presentation, she pointed it out that all black girls are blessed with statuesque bone structures and her girl-gang started giggling while everybody looked at the me.

Her voice grew louder as she highlighted "As you can see, African American hips are characterized by wider and deeper ass-tabular sockets!" and the whole classroom erupted with laughter. 

I just couldn't take it no more when the guys hooted with their rude remarks like "flaccid fart" "bony ass" "pin bum" I ran out of the classroom! I thought of dropping out of high school even! 

I never discussed it with my family and it was the most painful phase of my student life. I didn't have any real friends at high school and after that fiasco it seemed like I was an alien. Nobody wanted to be associated with me or any of my labels.

I still remember this sweet Italian girl at school who took pity on me after that shaming  episode. She was awkward and hesitant at first, didn't know quite as how to approach me. She sat down next to me and passed me a brown paper bag. She motioned to look inside. I was skeptical, surely in no mood for pranks.

"Boiled potatoes!!" what in the world??? I guess I must have sounded really cross because she looked really scared. She babbled on that her granny told her eating boiled potatoes was a sure fire way to pop anybody's butt out. I felt like screaming but when she carried on chatting, she reminded me of an innocent little cute bunny -she seemed genuine!

Well for one thing good, I made a friend and to be frank, I was kind of desperate and hopeful to develop my bum, so I started eating a lot of boiled potatoes. My parents and sister looked at me with raised eyebrows at the dinner table but I just ignored them. 

Did it work? Well nothing really happened, it sure added a few pounds to my tiny frame and my butt still looked just as flat and melancholy. And oh, corny as it sounds - it did give me a lot of gas!

Then I met a guy at gym class - a real fitness enthusiast- who had a strong looking physique and the most well defined and toned butt I've ever seen - and I couldn't stop looking at him, he caught me looking and as he walked on towards me - I just wanted to die.

He smiled and said hi. I got to know that he was the new football coach. He was even better looking up-close. We chatted for a while and he told me that he also worked as a personal trainer at a gym and asked me to drop by sometime. 

It was during the summer break and one day on the pretense of being bored staying home, I just dropped in to see him at the gym. He waved and my heart did a wild flip. He asked me take a seat, to wait for him. He was busy training a girl who looked like one of those Victoria Secret black models.

I saw that she had loads of stamina and strength and she trained hard. She looked amazing in her colourful skin tight gym ensemble.

When they were done with their circuit, Mr. Hot trainer walked over to me and introduced this beautiful girl he trained. The three of us sat down in the adjoining health bar, for smoothies. She was a surprisingly friendly girl and obvious as it was, she was a sought-after sports model.  

We all chatted and followed each other on Instagram. As I scrolled through their amazing posts I saw in their older posts that they had both once been skinny and scrawny. They saw the shock on my face and laughed it off. They both reminisced their success story. It really inspired me and gave me hope to look good in a pair of jeans.

It was embarrassing but I mustered up the courage to tell them about my bum-shaming!

They both were very positive people. They suggested that I start training right away. She slapped her own bum, laughed and said - squats is the answer. He was already excited and animated and started creating a workout schedule just for me. Should I feel special???

He went on saying "We will start with 10 squats of 3 sets - I suggest a kettlebell or spare dumbbells, it will create a better effect. Also we would be combining Hiit with Yoga moves and...." he went on and on - we had to stop him. We all laughed and promised to meet up again. 

I joined the gym the very next day and have never stopped ever since.   

Honestly it worked for me and I kept on working out almost everyday. If I missed gym due to something, I made sure I did some free body weight exercises at home or went for a jog or swim.

I found out that eating right is also very important for gaining lean muscles and keeping you in great health and shape.

Within a month I started to notice subtle changes in my body and in like 6 months I had significantly transformed for people to take notice of my new body. 

Aaaaah finally, I can wear my coveted jeans with pride. My posterior had developed in considerable size. No more baggy pants for me. My moment of glory was an emotional moment. My sister hugged me and we both laughed and cried. 

I never imagined it possible. 

And I have to thank the guy who made it all possible for me.

There were days when I really needed motivation to make it through and he was there for me. He helped discipline my bad eating habits and patterns but he was most patient. He is my inspiration and I can always count on him.

Dressed up and ready to go out in jeans for the very first time, I felt confident.


As my trainer rang the bell, I smiled and walked out to meet him.

He stood there smiling, looking at me, appreciating his hard work and I thanked him for it all with a deep kiss, that lingered on forever.

Better luck next time girls - I got him!  


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